Let's Not Fight
by LilMissCellist
Summary: Ganondorf doesn't feel like fighting Link because it's a special day. Well, it's not really that special. Ganondorf is just a pothead. Rated T for a good reason this time. DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME MY BROTHER. IT WAS HIS CRACK-TASTIC IDEA. OOC.


**A/N: Hey guys :D**

**So, you all know what day it was a few days ago? 4/20!**

**Hell yeah! Haha, don't worry I don't smoke anything I just like this day.**

**But in honor of 4/20, my older brother and I, being the retards that we are, decided we were each going to write a fic where Link, Ganondorf, and Zelda get high. Unfortunately, I've never written Zelda fics before nor have I ever written a character high, so I had no goddamn clue what I was doing. Ha :D**

**Yes, I know this is late because 4/20 has already passed and yes, I know it's a piece of shit and I deserve to be shot for writing this. But my dear brother just had to use the word "contest" to see who could write it better, and I wasn't about to let him automatically win by forfeiting. I did enough of that shit when he used to make me duel him.**

**Soooo, yeah. That's about it. Please read my brother's story, by the way. I read it and nearly pissed myself laughing, it's amazingly good. I'll give you the URL-thingy at the end.**

**DISCLAIMER: Wow, I just noticed that I always forget to put one of these things in my fics... I should probably do that. Haha. Anyway, I don't own Zelda, despite how fucking cool that would be.**

**And be warned, there's a lot of cussing in this. Just because. Oh, and I'm still writing on Notepad (like a motherfucking boss) so please excuse any errors. I apologize~**

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The low, grave notes of the organ floated through the air as Link approached Gannondorf. He played a few more notes before turning to face the Hero of Time, a challenging smirk on his face.

"Finally, the Triforce is all here." he said. "But theses toys are too much for you. It's about time you gave them back."

Link drew his sword and braced himself, ready to defeat him and save Hyrule and Zelda, once and for all.

Ganondorf rose from his seat and started to approach Link. Link brandished his sword but didn't attack; he'd let Ganondorf make the first move. But instead of attacking him, Ganondorf walked past him into another room. He returned a moment later, to Link's immense surprise, with Zelda by his side and a small bag in his hands. Zelda walked freely next to him, no chains or gags or restraints of any kind. She didn't even look upset.

"So, we could fight." Ganondorf started. "But ya know, today's kind of a special day. And I don't want to fight today. So how about instead we just celebrate the day and save the fighting for some other time?" He lifted the little bag and shook it lightly, and Link blinked.

Today was a special day? What-

Oh yeah. 4/20.

With a shrug, Link threw his sword and shield to the ground. "Why not?" He said.

-20 minutes later-

The air was thick with smoke, and Link's head was just as fuzzy. He, Ganondorf, and Zelda were sitting in a circle in the middle of the room, and Link blinked several times as he tried to focus on a story Zelda was telling. He'd probably heard it a million times before, but never while high. And for some reason, the story seemed a thousand times funnier.

"...A-and then the Zora was all like, 'Duuuuude, you can't just destroy our place and not fix it!' And I was all like, 'Fuck you, I can do whatever the hell I want! I'm the motherfucking princess, dammit!" Zelda said. Link and Ganondorf burs out laughing so hard tears came to their eyes.

"But, apparently," Zelda continued. "That's not a good enough excuse. Pft! And that Zora bitch got even madder and shit, so I said, 'Fuck you!' and let my knights deal with 'em."

Link and Ganondorf laughed even harder, and if Link had bothered to try and think clearly through the haze he would have realized just how stupid he was acting. That wasn't even a good story. It probably wasn't even true, knowing Zelda. And yet Link couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey, listen!"

Link ignored the cry of his little fairy, Navi. He didn't want to listen, dammit! He was busy... being high... and stuff.

"Hey! Hey, listen!" Navi cried again. And again the poor fairy was ignored. Navi flew up directly in front of Link and waved her tiny little arms, trying to get his attention. Link just irritably swatted her away.  
With a huff, Navi flew over to Zelda. "Hey, listen!" She cried.

Even Zelda ignored her.

Pissed off, Navi finally screamed at the top of her little lungs, "HEY DAMMIT. I SAID LISTEN."

Everyone was quiet.

Navi looked at each one of them individually with a look somewhere between anger and disappointment. "What the hell are you all doing?" She finally demande.d "You're supposed to be fighting to the death right now!"

Link blinked. "But... But it's 4/20, Navi. We shouldn't fight on 4/20." he said.

"I don't give a rat's ass what day it is!" She yelled. "You need to save Hyrule right effing now you stupid, lazy, worthless, too-high-and-mighty-to-fucking-listen-to-me-once-in-a-goddamn-while little punkfaggot!"

Everyone stared at Navi as the little fairy breathed slightly heavily after her little rant. Then, somewhat hesitantly, Link said, "Navi... Dude... J-Just calm down and take a whiff. A'ight?"

Navi stared at him with an expression that said Did-You-Just-Fucking-Say-A'ight? Then with a heavy sigh, Navi finally nodded and said, "You know what? Whatever. Get as high as fucking rocketships, I don't even care anymore."

And then she flew away.

The others watched her leave in silence. No on tried to stop her, no one said anything. Then Link's clear voice rang out:

"Shit, if I'd known I could get rid of her that easily I would have done this waaaay sooner."

And then the laughter and fuzziness returned as the three for-now-friends celebrated 4/20 in sweet, sweet highness.

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**A/N: Yeah, I'm ashamed of this piece of shit. But anyway~**

**Here's the link to my bro's amazingly waaay better version: http: / www . fanfiction . net /s/ 8047700 /1/**

**Just take out the spaces. It should work, I hope.**

**Anyway, review if you feel like it. And honestly, I won't be offended by flames, because this thing is so horribly flame worthy it's not even funny...**


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